I wan the WHOLE THING to STOP!!!!!!!!!!!!

hihi, i am damn confused now, i dont knw who is telling the truth and who is lying to me...Me and jiajia ok, maybe just me. We didnt even wan to play the damn freaking prank on u, i just wan to knw if u will reply the message or not. thats why, but who knws u take things damn seriously, i dun care now, if u see this post or watever crap, i just wan u to knw that, whenever we quarrel or what, i am always the one giving in to u, so stop it. I dont care if you wan to bitch abt me or not, but than i can onli say that i reali treasure the friendship before,and do u reali think that she is trust able, she is, but i will have my way to knw all the stuffs that u say. but i am reali disappointed in u. the truth is that nobody tell me anything that u tell others, is just that u just tend to say things very loudly and the whole world can hear what u are talking abt. anyway, i dont reali care now, but then its your choice, if u wan to continue to bitch abt me, its your choice anyway. all i can say now is that, if u reali cant trust me, than let it be. sometimes u are veri insensitive to others feelings, but u expect others to be sensitive to your feelings, for instance, whenever, we quarrel, i will always be the one giving in, if u dont reali realise. I am being veri positive abt this things but than u make me feel like i am left alone. ok, like what others keep telling me, u just treat me like tissue paper, when u need me, u take, but when u dont, u just throw it away. sometimes i reali wonder if u treat me as your frend. ii reali wan to be the qiyi when school just started. i can joke, laugh and play wit everybody, but now, i just keep on crying. for your information or if you dont reali get the story by now, this two weeks, i have been crying on the phone whenever i talk to jiajia or grace, i will cry and cry. Mary has been reali nice to me this few days, she ask me to forgive and forget abt the matter, and be friends again, she say that when we fight and we ok alr we will be best friends, but i reali not sure. i am very confused. and i can just feel that u are two faceing me, which i hate it, i knw it like rite frm the start but i just dont wan to say it out to spoil the friendship, but this few days i reali cant take it, i just cry and cry. i cry during, PE, during english lesson, during science, during PW, during chinese, even at home. i cry so much that my mother need to ask jiajia if she knws wat had happen to me, i am reali sad and anrgy. i reali need time to think if i reali can forgive u, or even forget the matter. the matter all started with the drink thing. i reali tried as hard as i could to act normally in font of u, all the letters that i recieve this few days is either to ask me not to cry or to stay strong. I reali dont wan them to talk to u to ask u if u say anything, but then i am writting this post is bcos, i reali cant take it anymore. ppl also say that i am a sleeping volcano, which might erupt anytime. BUT, my eruption is not abt anger or whatever, is all sadness. so from the start of this moment and I WILL NOT CRY AND STAY STRONG!!!!!!